did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
