i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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