ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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