a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
3pm strippers are depressing
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
