Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
