I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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