My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
