That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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