How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
