I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
