So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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