found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
