But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
