Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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