weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
