Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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