i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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