His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
