I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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