16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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