Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
