see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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