Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
