His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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