My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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