STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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