no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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