Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
