do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she smelled like a LAN party
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
