He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
