you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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