Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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