ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
