he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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