We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
