Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My penis needs a shock collar
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
