It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
barbara walters just said penis...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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