Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
