So drunk its hurt
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
