You can't special order awesome
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
