I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
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Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
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"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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