Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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