It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
