He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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