Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I look better un-naked...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
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After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
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There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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