remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
