I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
