I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
