Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
