Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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