i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you inspire me to be a worse person
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize