If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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