They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just forgot I was standing up.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
