you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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