Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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