They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
