omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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